BILLBOARD HOT 100 NIGHT

Hi everyone! Tonight's show is Billboard Hot 100 night. Billboard magazine has been around for over 100 years, so the possibilities are almost limitless. Sounds like it would make for a fresh, exciting night, huh? Well, guess again. Of all the thousands of songs available, there was basically nothing new to Idol. Just about every contestant sang something that has been done to death on the show over its nine-season history. And -- to make matters worse -- only ONE contestant chose a song from this century.

The judges picked up on this really fast and berated most of the singers for being stale and old-fashioned, as well they should.

Miley Cyrus (it's no secret she's one of my favorites) was the "mentor" for the night. That was sure to raise a few eyebrows. Does this seventeen-year-old know enough to mentor these kids? I think so. Cyrus has been in the biz for years and performs the kinds of pop songs that the contestants will ultimately sing if and when they get a recording contract. Even at her young age, she's a seasoned professional. I thought it was really refreshing to have Miley Cyrus as the mentor.

Well, this reporter feels that American Idol hit an all-time low tonight. Out of the tens (maybe hundreds) of thousands of auditions, these are the best of the bunch? What? Just about every one of the contestants was awful. There are some definite stand-outs this season, but most shouldn't even be there.

LEE DEWYZE started off the night with that tired, old song "The Letter," by The Box Tops. It was well suited for Lee with his rock'n soulful kind of voice, but it was a safe bet for him with no "wow" moments. Not much of a range there. At this place in the competition, we are expecting more from the contestants. and they're just not delivering. The judges all liked his rendition, except for Simon who thought it was "corny." Kara commented on Lee's new-found on-stage confidence. He has a style all his own which will keep him in the competition. He'll stick around for a few more weeks at least.

Next on stage was PAIGE MILES. She sang "Take A Look At Me Now," by Phil Collins and later by Mariah Carey. Granted, Paige was dealing with laryngitis issues from the week before, but I've got to say it was the worst performance I have ever seen in nine years of the show. Randy called it "terrible." It was so bad that Ellen didn't even comment. Kara said Paige has given up on the contest. Simon hated it too. Nobody named Ruth on the judges panel tonight -- they were RUTHLESS!! Of all the number one songs available, Paige chose a Phil Collins song?????? This was her (and everone else's, for that matter) chance to pick ANY song perfectly suited for them. Phil Collins??? What about Donna Summer? Diana Ross? Fergie? Rihanna? A young, hip African American girl chose an old, stale, British white guy song. Paige deserves to go home based simply on that idiotic song choice, abominal vocals not withstanding.

"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen was TIM URBAN's choice. Booooooorrrrrrriing. Snooze-A-Rama. I've never been a huge fan of Queen. They had fluke hits with "Bohemian Rahpsody" and "Killer Queen," but "Fat Bottom Girls," and that stupid bicycle song are some of the worst I've ever heard. The thing I like about Tim is that he's not very good, but he knows it and rolls with it. It's not his fault that he's there. It's the judges'. So he just gets out there and does his thing. He has a lot of fans because of his "Jonas Brothers" look. (Which is why he'll stay around and sadly why someone like Crystal Bowersox will eventually go home). The judges all thought it was pretty worthless. Nothing much more to say about Tim.

Sixteen-year-old AARON KELLY was next up with the Aerosmith hit, "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing." A song about twice as old as the singer. He sang it pretty well, but again, there was nothing special about his performance. I heard someone last night refer to this season as "American I-dull." That about sums it up. Simon said Aaron was making himself "old-fashioned." All the rest of the judges liked Aaron tonight, but he's just sliding through.

CRYSTAL BOWERSOX sang "Me And Bobby McGee," by Janis Joplin. Perfect song choice. She completely nailed it. Crystal is the definite stand-out this season, but I don't think she has a chance of winning. The people calling in and texting are more into someone like Tim Urban than Crystal. All the judges loved her performance with Simon comparing her to Pink, saying she's every bit as good.

Luther Vandross sound-alike MICHAEL LYNCHE chose the snoozer "When A Man Loves A Woman" by, well, just about everybody. Come on people -- sing something we haven't heard a million times. Michael sounded great as usual, but he's not showing us anyting new. He's becoming a bore just like almost everyone else. Randy liked the RnB sound, Ellen called it "safe." Kara called it "over indulgent with too many riffs." Simon called it "almost too much."

Well, this is the first week that "Straight Up" wasn't specifically mentioned by the judges, but it was alluded to by Kara and Simon. ANDREW GARCIA, a favorite because of his winning personality, in a word, sucked. He sang the dinosaur song, "I Heard It Through The Grapevine," by the incomparable Marvin Gaye. Andrew has been bad for the past four weeks, and it's getting time for him to start packing his bags. Lucky for him, other have sucked worse tonight. But it's only a matter of time. None of the judges liked the performance. Simon said Andrew "sucked the soul out of one of the greatest pop songs of all time."

KATIE STEVENS should be awarded immunity this week for being the only one who chose a song from the 21st century. She sang "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie. I'm a big fan of Fergie. I think she has one of the best voices in pop music today. For Katie to take on Fergie was a pretty gutsy move, and she did OK. Not great, but good enough to stay around for another week. Kara thought Katie finally found here groove as a pop singer with RnB leanings. Simon liked the performance and Randy gave props for her fresh song choice.

CASEY JAMES sang the 80's hit "The Power Of Love," by Huey Lewis, from a quarter century ago. (Just sayin. . . .) He sang it exactly as Lewis did. Actually Casey's voice sounded better than Huey Lewis, but didn't do anything to stand out. One of the best of the night so far, though. But that's not saying much. All the judges liked it except Simon who said it sounded like an 80's cover band.

The quirky DIDI BENAMI followed Casey on the stage. She sang "You're No Good," by Linda Ronstadt. Didi did some sort of loungy thing, vamping for the camera while she warbled out the tune. It looked like one of those old Tiparillo commercials from when I was a kid with the sexy chick in go-go boots walking around with a tray of cigarettes. Kara said it looked like Didi was playing a character and she was left "confused." Simon said there was an irony in Didi singing over and over, "you're no good, you're no good, you're no good."

SIOBHAN MAGNUS. UGH!!! Just as I predicted, she screeched through another song. She sang 1972's "Superstition," by Stevie Wonder. Why? Granted, Siobhan has a dang good voice, but she ruins every song with that damn Adam Lambert screech. Geeeeeeeeezz!! I knew when the judges gave her props for her first scream a few weeks ago that we'd be hearing it every time. But the judges loved it for the most part. Kara said that the end note was amazing. I say ENOUGH! Simon was the only one who told her to tone it down.

So the worst night in nine seasons of American Idol is now history. It was so bad that I'm not even going to venture a guess as to who will be in the bottom three, except by saying that Paige Miles will almost definitely be the one going home Wednesday night. The show is almost unwatchable now. Remember Elliot Yamin? Chris Daughtry? Fantasia Barrino? Kelly Clarkson? Clay Aiken? Diana DeGarmo? Carrie Underwood? Jordin Sparks? What happened this year? I'll bet that if this season was Season One, there would never have been a Season Two. The only good thing about this week's show is that Miley Cyrus will be performing on the results show.

See ya next time!